10 “Good” Habits That Can Quietly Hold Your Child Back from Whole-Child Learning
As parents, we want the best for our kids—but some common “healthy” or “helpful” habits can actually block real learning and self-regulation, especially for neurodivergent learners. Here are 10 habits to watch for (and gentle ways to shift them).
1. Using Screen Time for Regulation/Calm
Screens can help decompress, but prolonged use (more than 1 hour at a time, or 30 minutes for younger kids) overwhelms the brain’s reward system. Screens provide rapid neurofeedback that our brains begin to crave. When the screen suddenly turns off (or the iPad is taken away), it can feel like a jolt to the system, causing the nervous system to become dysregulated and unsure how to recalibrate without that stimulation.
Balance is key. Short bursts followed by real-world quiet time help reset calm. Gentle transitions, like listening to music or going outside, can also ease the shift and support regulation in those moments. (Food for thought: One of the first things doctors tell you to limit during a concussion is screen time… to as little as ten minutes a day! Hmmmmm…)
2. Marathon Focus Sessions
Think about what happens when you pour water on sand. If you pour just a bit of water, it absorbs, but if you continue a constant pour or pour too much at once, instead of absorption, you get a puddle or a flood. This is how our brain takes in information.
The desire to work until the paper is done, we’ve studied all of the content on the test, or all the homework is finished is pretty common. However, working for more than 30–45 minutes without a break leads to mental “flooding.” Brains need rest to absorb information. Short, frequent breaks keep learning efficient and reduce frustration. Healthy breaks can be a moment of stillness in which the brain is allowed to wander, or, ideally, a few minutes of physical movement. However, if we are truly giving the brain time to rest, the most beneficial breaks are screen-free.
3. Using Snacks to Support Focus
Low blood sugar and hunger are definitely focus thieves and when these are the issues at play, snacking is one of the best things one can do to bring up their energy levels. However, it is important to help your child tune into their bodies to identify whether they are actually hungry or just looking for stimulation. Strong flavors, sugar, and crunchy foods all stimulate the brain, which can cause many of us to grab a snack when we are bored or struggling to stay focused. But if we aren’t actually hungry, this habit can disrupt our relationship with our body’s natural hunger cues.
WHAT our children eat is just as important as WHY our children are eating. Quick carbs cause spikes and crashes that derail focus. Protein-rich, balanced options support steady energy. Swap sugary snacks for fruit containing both natural sugars, fiber, and nutrients. Elevate simple carbohydrates like crackers or chips by combining them with healthy fat and protein. My kids love crackers with cheese and ham and are no stranger to me handing them a protein shake if I see them gorgeing themselves on carbs and junk.
4. Pushing Through Brain Fog
Mental blocks are signals, not enemies. Sitting too long can slow blood circulation, decrease focus, or we can simply be stuck because we feel overwhelmed. Movement boosts blood flow and clears fog. Encourage your child to stand, stretch, pace, or talk things through when stuck. (Also, see #2.)
5. Keeping It All in Their Heads & Doing Work Mentally
Working memory varies from person to person, but its capacity is limited for all of us. When we try to hold multiple steps or ideas in mind, it can lead to what I call “slippery thoughts,” where information easily slips away and creates overwhelm—especially for children who know they’re capable of more.
While writing things down—such as lists, notes, or steps in a process—can free up valuable mental space, students with executive functioning challenges often avoid doing so because it feels like extra work. However, externalizing those thoughts reduces cognitive load and helps make thinking clearer, more manageable, and more successful.
6. Working Alone All the Time
Independent work is important, but collaboration builds deeper understanding and problem-solving. Talking through ideas with peers helps solidify learning.
When I suggest that students study with a classmate or friend, I’m often told that it’s just not something people do anymore. Aside from making me feel a little old, it’s also a bit disappointing.
Setting aside the broader shift away from face-to-face interaction (that’s a whole separate conversation!), studying with others has real benefits. It creates natural back-and-forth dialogue—asking questions, explaining ideas, and talking through confusion—which pushes students to think more deeply. This kind of interaction builds on what they already know, clears up misunderstandings, and leads to a stronger overall understanding of the material. When it comes to studying, two (or more) heads really are better than one.
7. Reading Too Much
OK, you can't really read too much, but it is really important that you don't allow your child to ONLY read. Even book-loving kids need active play. Physical movement sharpens focus, balances mood, and supports whole-brain growth. Whether it's taking regular walks or joining a sports team, there is no substitution for the benefits of exercise to the brain and body. It is also important to note that some individuals use reading as a form of stimulation. (A good story or fascinating information can be incredibly mentally stimulating!) Have you ever seen a child that seems so into their books that they struggle to redirect their focus on anything else? They are likely using that book for stimulation and would benefit from a movement break!
8. FaceTime Communication
Video chat is an amazing invention. It allows us to have face-to-face conversations with friends and family who live far away, learn from experts anywhere in the world, collaborate with others to demonstrate skills or solve problems in real time. However, it was never meant to replace the majority of human contact. Human beings need to be around other human beings!
When we're together, we experience subtle cues that don't translate through a screen—body language, posture, shared physical space, eye contact, and the natural rhythms of conversation. Whether we are aware of it or not, humans tend to feed off the energy and emotional states of those around them. Although the science behind "energy" in this sense is still evolving, these experiences can influence how safe, connected, or regulated we feel. Physical touch, such as a hug, high five, or reassuring hand on the shoulder, also plays an important role in human connection by promoting feelings of comfort, trust, and belonging—something that video communication simply cannot provide.
9. Always Having Something to Do
Boredom is powerful—it fuels creativity, reflection, and emotional growth. Protect unstructured time so kids can listen inward and imagine outward. Children with high stimulation needs or those unaccustomed to unstructured time may wine and complain at first. “There’s nothing to dooooooo!!!!!” (These words came from my mouth every time my parents turned off my TV and I hear it from my own children often as well.) However, when given time to adjust, the whining eventually shifts to problem solving and they either find something to do or create something. Some children may benefit from reminders of safety in these moments, but you might be surprised by what they come up with!
10. Being Great at Everything
Perfection isn’t the goal - perseverance is. When kids face challenges, they build resilience and confidence. Let them wrestle with difficulty and celebrate effort, not just results.
Children who go through their early years getting everything right, tend to think of themselves as really smart. However, if children are not appropriately challenged when they’re younger they don’t learn to persevere. As a result, even a healthy amount of struggle, occurring in their later years, can lead to frustration and dips in self-confidence. These bright children often end up believing that struggling is the equivalent of stupidity. If a child is not challenged at all, they are not learning. Intellectual growth involves struggle, problem solving, and effort. If your teen shuts down when they meet challenges, focus on praising effort and perseverance over success. Help them see mistakes and opportunities to learn and improve, rather than as failures.
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Bonus to Keep in Mind
Time outdoors calms the nervous system and nurtures emotional intelligence and sensory regulation in ways that screens never can.
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Ready to learn more and take the next steps to whole child centered learning? Contact Elevated Learning Solutions today!
By Elyse Dworin
Founder, Head Coach or Elevated Learning Solutions